Hey Smell This….

Seems like people think I have a good nose for aroma. And not as a perfumer. Because the things that people want me to smell usually stench really bad.

I was trying to recall when this occupation began. It wasn’t when I was a child and asked my grandma for a glass of milk and she poured me a large glass that was clearly past date. (Back in those days they probably didn’t have expiration dates printed on the carton) She went on to instruct me to drink it all because I asked for it.

I wished she had asked me to, “Smell This”.

“But grandma, this milk tastes funny.”

“I don’t want to hear it, don’t be wasteful, there are poor kids in Oxnard that don’t have milk to drink!”, she replied.

“But Grandma, this milk tastes really funny though and smells funny too.”

She finally smelled the glass and apologized for making me drink sour milk. I love my grandma.

I believe this position of nose sniffer came with marriage and motherhood. And I often wonder why is it always putrid, rank, disgusting aromas that need to be confirmed? Like if I smell it and say, “Nah, that doesn’t smell that bad”, you are going to go ahead and eat it, wear it or clean it up?  No, I think that the people in my life just need confirmation that stuff stinks.

  • Hey smell this old bologna
  • Hey smell this funny looking egg
  • Hey smell this bag of trash
  • Hey smell this closet where the dirty diapers were
  • Hey smell this old gym bag
  • Hey smell these socks
  • Hey do you smell that dead animal
  • Hey smell the cat box
  • Hey smell the fridge

The best one is when a person would come right out and say to me, ” Hey this smells really bad, smell it.” And I would smell it!

The bright side is I’m done being the smell tester. I started exercising this decision a few days ago at work. I was in the break room and a co-worker pulled something out of the fridge and said, “Eeww, smell this.” And I said, “Oh hell no, I’m not smelling that!”

Baby steps.





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